The Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie recently had a
spot of bother after she suggested that the experiences of transgender women
were different from the cisgender women (I believe this is the term for those
individuals who are born women, and either are happy to live as women, or, if
they aren’t, don’t make a fuss about it—so we don’t know).
You might argue that it is impossible for Adichie, or any
other cisgender woman, to talk with authority about the experiences of
trans-gender women, because Adichie was not born a man, and therefore cannot
possibly know what it is like to be a
man, and, by extension, what it is like to be convinced that one would be
better off as a woman, because in spite of one’s chromosome and anatomy one is
convinced in one’s mind that one
ought to be a woman.
Adichie’s explanation as to why she is reluctant to consider
trans-gender women as—for the want of better phrase—real women was neither
medical nor psychological; it was socio-political. Adichie said in her
interview that if you lived in this world as a man with the privileges the
world accords to men, and then switched gender, it was difficult for Adichie to
accept that you (a transgender woman) could equate your experience with the
experience of a woman who had always lived as a woman, and not
enjoyed the privileges as a man.
Adichie’s answer to this dilemma? Trans-women are
trans-women, and cis-women are cis-women.
Adichie’s argument risks attracting the accusation, among
other things, of making sweeping judgments about the privileges the men
supposedly enjoy, and women don’t. She tries to link it to this peculiar
condition, which, I believe, is recognised as some sort of psychiatric
condition—although I’d wager a hundred pounds that such individuals, while they
may experience a variety of emotional distress, do not consider the core issue,
that they are born in the wrong body, as a psychiatric condition.
Going by Adichie’s argument, a man, who wants to be a woman
for reasons best known to him, is, therefore, willing to give up the privileges
of men. Why might he do that? I read that the Indian leader of the twentieth
century, Gandhi, who led his country to freedom from British Imperialism, gave
up on the Western attire and went through his life wearing a loin cloth. Gandhi
took this step because he felt uneasy about wearing Western (or, for that matter,
Eastern) dress that would cover his spindly legs and chest hair, when he saw
that his countrymen were going around semi-naked because they were so
impoverished under the British Raj that they could not clothe themselves
adequately. Gandhi, who was a Western-educated barrister, and, at one stage,
had a flourishing practice, decided that he too was going to live like his poor
countrymen: if they could not afford to wear clothes and went around
half-naked, so would he. You might say that Gandhi was displaying an extreme
form of empathy. I should doubt very much that the men who choose to be women,
and go all the way to have reconstructive surgery, do this because they want to
experience, in a Gandhiesque manner, the disadvantages of womanhood. These men
want their penises chopped off because they don’t like their penises; they want
to have vaginas, instead.
And what about women who want to be men? This trans-business,
surely, is not confined only to men who are desperate to be women. Adichie
makes no comments about women who have had reconstructive surgeries, and, with
hormonal treatment, boast cobwebs on their chins. One would, going by Adichie’s
argument, suppose, that these trans-men can’t be real men because they have not
enjoyed the privileges of being men right from birth.
Not surprisingly, many trans-women (if that is the correct
term to describe these individuals) were unhappy at not being considered for the
privileges of being full-women (or cis-women), although Adichie seems to think
that it is no picnic going through life as a woman, and you’d be better off as
men if you love the privileges (what might these be?). You can understand the
dismay of the trans-women. They have gone to get lengths to achieve the
appearance of what they always believed themselves to be in their minds, only
to be told by some uppity novelist, who does not look like she has lacked
privileges any time, that sorry, you are not a real woman because you lived as
a man. It’s a bit like telling Nigel Farage that after all he is not going to
be the British ambassador to the USA, when in his mind (and in the mind of, or,
what passes for the mind of Donald Trump), he is the most suitable chap for the
job, and, moreover, has gone to great lengths to improve the relationship between
the UK and the USA now that we shall crash out of the Euro. Life is a bitch (or a trans-bitch).
I have not personally known any trans-gender individuals.
Years ago I vaguely knew a woman who was married to an IT specialist. I had met
her husband in a social do. He was a pot-bellied man with an Arafat-style beard
and thick glasses. He had a square face, rubbery lips, and kept one hand in the
pocket of his trousers, twiddling, I hoped, loose change. He looked rather dull
and did not speak much. The woman, on the other hand, was physically
attractive, if slightly on the bigger side (nothing wrong with being a full
breasted woman who likes chocolate gateaux) and had an air about her, the way
she looked at you, which suggested that she had just finished a marathon sex
session. She also had opinions on most matters which she did not hesitate to
express. I had also heard that a few years earlier the woman had had an affair
with one of our colleagues in the company. In the course of the evening the
main topic of the woman’s conversation was how she was going to have children,
and how a year-long maternity leave (even on full pay) was not enough. The
husband sat listening unenthusiastically to all this. I asked the woman how
long the two had been married for. They had been married for almost ten years.
I asked her whether they had now decided to have children. This turned out to
be a mistake. The woman became tearful, and I was subjected to a tedious
account of the unsuccessful efforts the couple had had over the years to have
children. I wanted to tell her, “Look woman, I am just trying to make small
talk, seeing as you have been rabbiting on about maternity leave for the past
half an hour.” But I didn’t, because that would have been rude. “We even had
David’s sperm count done,” the woman announced at a volume that could have been
heard in the next restaurant. We all waited to hear what she was going to say.
“He is OK,” the woman revealed after a dramatic pause. My only thought was that
the talk of maternity leave was a bit premature seeing as the woman had trouble
conceiving. The couple, I learned later (by this time the woman had left the
company), did not have children. In fact the marriage broke down, after the
woman found the husband dressed in women’s underclothes late one night in the
garden shade. (Poor woman. She thought that all the lingerie he bought was for
her). The man with the beard is now a woman (probably as photogenic as
psoriasis). He provides support to trans-gender individuals, and is also
writing a novel (what a surprise!).
I
wonder what the square faced man with rubbery lips would have made of Adichie’s
comments about the male privileges. To me, Adichie’s comments do not ring true.
If she were to say that she did not consider a trans-woman a woman because,
let’s face it, no amount of cosmetic surgery is going to change your
chromosomal make-up; you may shave off your chest hair and have false breasts hoisted
on your chest, and pay (or, if you are in the UK, get the tax-payers to pay) to
create a vagina that is literally and figuratively going nowhere, you will
never have other female internal organs such as the uterus and ovaries, you are
never going to menstruate, you will never have children, and, most importantly,
you are never going to be as good as the real women at being upset, that would
have been accurate. I should hazard a guess (and it will be a guess) that most
men would not be interested in a facsimile when they can get the real version,
if you get my drift. Would you go on a vacation to Slough when you can go to
London? (Even the tourist office in Slough probably advises the tourists that
they should get the f**k out of Slough on the first available train, and go to London).
That’s
what Germaine Greer—bless her!—the old battle-axe did a couple of years ago.
Greer said: “Just because you lop off your d**k
and then wear a dress doesn't make you a ******* woman. I’ve asked my
doctor to give me long ears and liver spots and I’m going to wear a brown coat
but that won’t turn me into a ******* cocker spaniel. . . I do understand that
some people are born intersex and they deserve support in coming to terms with
their gender but it’s not the same thing. A man who gets his d**k chopped
off is actually inflicting an extraordinary act of violence on himself.”
There
was a predictable furore over Greer’s comments, and I think some lecture of
hers arranged at Cardiff University was cancelled, because some student body with
the collective maturity of minus 250, and outraged members of Idiots’ Anonymous
were threatening to throw tomatoes at her.
Greer
does have a point, it could be argued, which she expressed in her customary
forthright manner (she is Australian, so she hasn’t got the British talent,
despite living in Britain for decades, of saying unpalatable truth without
sounding offensive).
If
you ask me, the issue is the sense of entitlement. Not happy that you are going
bald? Have a hair-transplant. Unhappy that your tits are too small? Insert
breast implants. Ashamed of your chipolata, and want a big fat sausage? Go under the surgeon’s knife. Not prepared to
age gracefully? Have a botox. Not happy that you are a man (or a woman), and
would rather be a woman (or a man)? No worries; the medical science will make
it possible for you. Except that it won’t. You can inject yourself with a
bathful of hormones and chop off as many body parts as you want, the reality
of your chromosomes will not change. Psychiatrists and psychologists may
disagree. They will lecture you on the intolerable inner turmoil these individuals
face because of their conviction that they are born in the wrong body, and the
only way to bring some sort of inner peace is for them to be allowed to have
series of medical and surgical procedures so that they can go through rest of
their lives as parodies of sex they can never genuinely be. OK, being eaten up
by misery usually does not improve things, but, surely, there must be other
ways to deal with this self-pity (preferably those which do not put extra
burden on the cash-strapped NHS). You could try Stoicism, or Mindfulness . . . whatever.
Somehow train your mind to accept that you can’t get everything in life you
want. You were born a man (or a woman). Deal with it. If you are not able to
crow that is probably because you are not a rooster. You are a hen. Learn to
live with it.
There
are some barriers between men and women which simply can’t be breached: men can
go to great lengths to look and live like women, they can’t be women. Women,
similarly, can never be men. That is the biological reality.
